yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
