Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
A+ Viking dick
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
