this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize