haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
