Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize