Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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