I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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