she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
