would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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