so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The power of my boobs compel you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i out mim tonsoeep
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