the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
