i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
