hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
