I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize