i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
