you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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