His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize