get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We smell like vodka and hangover
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