She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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