Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
