CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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