All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize