Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
