I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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