FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
