I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You brought string cheese to the strip club
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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