I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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