wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
