Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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