Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
