addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
