Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
