Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Randomize
