you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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