Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
