Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
