You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
