people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
