Buhtt sex?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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