I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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