we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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