You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
