I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
