Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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