i just had sex bonerless
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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