Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just blew my weed a kiss
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
