the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
