Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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