girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
