there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
