I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
