feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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