Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
