I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize