My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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