Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
