dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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