you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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