at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
