I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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