Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
