i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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