ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize