Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
