I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you traded sex for a burrito?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
