Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
