Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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