In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When are your genitals available?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
