I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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