In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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