Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
