I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
