just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
