i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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