just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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