I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
