she was so not down for the gang bang
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
