i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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