You were right. It hurts to walk today.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
