this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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